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...magna. Class aptent taciti sociosqu I don't want to go to heaven because dinosaurs will be there. They never did anything wrong. Who wants to spend eternity running from them? Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor...
...sociosqu ad litora torquent Success is not equal to significance. sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer adipiscing tellus. Fusce...
...ad litora torquent per My New Years revolution is Ivory Coast. est ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra...
...sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia Driving next to a news van always gives me the urge to create news. fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede...
...per conubia nostra, per What would the world be like if Jay-Z was attractive? fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus...
...aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora I'm really geting [sic] of all these puns. arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus,...
...aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent Roomie: "Is [The Wooer] cleaning off your car?" "[The Wooer] doesn't clean my car. [Ex] always did, but [The Wooer] has a bigger dick, so." arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus....
...Lorem ipsum dolor sit Saw a mother, grandmother, and two girls wearing jeans tucked into Ugg boots. Three depressing generations of styleless, bourgeois drones. semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida...
...sociosqu ad litora torquent Sometimes I feel like a lesbian because my boyfriend acts like such a fucking girl. sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum...
...consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum nibh Serious Tweet: LOLJK a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer...
...nibh eget magna. Class I think if we've learned one thing from the advent of the comments section, it's that we're disgusting. et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit...
...condimentum nibh eget magna. Is it really surprising a rich white a-hole named "Tucker" - who wears a bow-tie - wants to kill a black man? ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est...
...consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum News reports that terrorists were captured with "live" ammunition, as opposed to "Lego" ammunition, which would be really confusing. adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper....
...ipsum dolor sit amet, The trick with pot is to always make sure your eyes are blood shot so nobody gets suspicious. amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede...
...litora torquent per conubia nostra, I was kinda bummed about the whole broken plane thing, United, but then you gave me the whole soda can and, well, I'm slightly less bummed. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad When I type "manpon" my phone wants to change that to "mankind." Same thing, I guess. amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque...
...adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum Who else isn't going to see Country Strong? suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum,...
...elit. Donec condimentum nibh eget I'd pay $100 to see a blind police officer tell a crowd of onlookers, "there's nothing to see here" laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad Throwing back cups of oolong, reading Beowulf. Call me up if you a gangsta. est ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora Kid's asleep. There's liquor and WiFi. This plane is just like my regular life. Except, of course, this plane is actually going somewhere. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse...
...eget magna. Class aptent taciti sociosqu If you ever need to be reminded about how lady ideas are adorable and unnecessary, my dad will remind the fuck out of you. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante....
...per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. And yet you follow no one on Twitter. RT @DalaiLama In order to create a peaceful century we must promote the concept of dialogue. vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet...
...sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec I've got blisters on my coping mechanisms. suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor,...
...taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per Recession Tip: If you suck down a ketchup packet then drink a beer the resulting burps taste like a satisfying pasta entree. semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus....
...nibh eget magna. Class The teenager just made a reference to '2 girls 1 cup.' Unrelated: I am going to burn down the Internet. ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula...
...eget magna. Class aptent taciti After the first few thousand 'darndest things' most parents are looking forward to their kids shutting the fuck up for a few seconds. semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede...
...torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos Just realized I'd been pronouncing 'Sufjan' wrong all this time. It's actually pronounced "Oh, Jesus Christ." arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin...
...Donec condimentum nibh eget magna. How close are scientists to inventing a cheeseburger in my mouth? est ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris...
...litora torquent per conubia nostra, per There are just some days when all you wanna do is sit naked on Pinocchio's face with his nose digging into your bum and say LIE TO ME BITCH. vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu My purse shall now be known as The Land of Christmas Gift Receipts That Time Forgot. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum...
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