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...Donec condimentum nibh eget magna. Class I don't want to go to heaven because dinosaurs will be there. They never did anything wrong. Who wants to spend eternity running from them? Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa....
...per conubia nostra, per Success is not equal to significance. ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer adipiscing tellus. Fusce eleifend aliquet purus. ...
...amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec My New Years revolution is Ivory Coast. ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum,...
...torquent per conubia nostra, per Driving next to a news van always gives me the urge to create news. laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum,...
...condimentum nibh eget magna. Class aptent What would the world be like if Jay-Z was attractive? fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum...
...taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per I'm really geting [sic] of all these puns. fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad Roomie: "Is [The Wooer] cleaning off your car?" "[The Wooer] doesn't clean my car. [Ex] always did, but [The Wooer] has a bigger dick, so." pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante....
...Lorem ipsum dolor sit Saw a mother, grandmother, and two girls wearing jeans tucked into Ugg boots. Three depressing generations of styleless, bourgeois drones. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse...
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu Sometimes I feel like a lesbian because my boyfriend acts like such a fucking girl. ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum,...
...per conubia nostra, per inceptos Serious Tweet: LOLJK arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor...
...adipiscing elit. Donec condimentum nibh I think if we've learned one thing from the advent of the comments section, it's that we're disgusting. fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum...
...litora torquent per conubia Is it really surprising a rich white a-hole named "Tucker" - who wears a bow-tie - wants to kill a black man? a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac...
...elit. Donec condimentum nibh News reports that terrorists were captured with "live" ammunition, as opposed to "Lego" ammunition, which would be really confusing. a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum...
...elit. Donec condimentum nibh eget magna. The trick with pot is to always make sure your eyes are blood shot so nobody gets suspicious. ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante....
...litora torquent per conubia I was kinda bummed about the whole broken plane thing, United, but then you gave me the whole soda can and, well, I'm slightly less bummed. fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras...
...sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Donec When I type "manpon" my phone wants to change that to "mankind." Same thing, I guess. adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras...
...litora torquent per conubia nostra, per Who else isn't going to see Country Strong? et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi...
...ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, I'd pay $100 to see a blind police officer tell a crowd of onlookers, "there's nothing to see here" laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus....
...sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia Throwing back cups of oolong, reading Beowulf. Call me up if you a gangsta. laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi...
...eget magna. Class aptent taciti sociosqu Kid's asleep. There's liquor and WiFi. This plane is just like my regular life. Except, of course, this plane is actually going somewhere. semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque...
...ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, If you ever need to be reminded about how lady ideas are adorable and unnecessary, my dad will remind the fuck out of you. vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit...
...nibh eget magna. Class aptent And yet you follow no one on Twitter. RT @DalaiLama In order to create a peaceful century we must promote the concept of dialogue. pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor...
...Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, I've got blisters on my coping mechanisms. sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque tempus, urna et rutrum condimentum, ipsum orci viverra dolor, sed tempor purus mi nec mi. Praesent consectetuer adipiscing tellus....
...Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora Recession Tip: If you suck down a ketchup packet then drink a beer the resulting burps taste like a satisfying pasta entree. sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante....
...taciti sociosqu ad litora The teenager just made a reference to '2 girls 1 cup.' Unrelated: I am going to burn down the Internet. arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse...
...Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer After the first few thousand 'darndest things' most parents are looking forward to their kids shutting the fuck up for a few seconds. ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et...
...magna. Class aptent taciti Just realized I'd been pronouncing 'Sufjan' wrong all this time. It's actually pronounced "Oh, Jesus Christ." pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor...
...nibh eget magna. Class aptent How close are scientists to inventing a cheeseburger in my mouth? arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie faucibus. Quisque...
...Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, There are just some days when all you wanna do is sit naked on Pinocchio's face with his nose digging into your bum and say LIE TO ME BITCH. est ipsum, fringilla et, adipiscing et, suscipit vel, arcu. Ut fermentum laoreet pede. Aliquam a ligula sit amet est interdum...
...nibh eget magna. Class My purse shall now be known as The Land of Christmas Gift Receipts That Time Forgot. semper. Cras sit amet massa. Proin luctus. Suspendisse condimentum dolor et ante. Mauris ac pede gravida neque molestie...
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